I am in transition. In the middle of change. Straddling two lives. One being the familiar, simple, family-and-friend centered nest of a life I have known for 18 years. The second being the unknown, complex, independent life I will know for an undetermined amount of time. Until I hit another transition.
People fear this place I am in, transition. A speaker I heard once said that it is not change that we dread, but the getting there. The middle portion. If we were able to jump from our current patch of grass to the different shade of green waiting on the opposite bank without having to struggle through the river, we wouldn't mind the new scenery. So at times people will wander through transition with their eyes close, in order to perhaps miss the struggle. I have come to discover that is an ignorant way to approach transition.
Here I am, standing. Grounded. Solid. Aware of my position, yet not attached, because I know it is transient. While I am standing here I see behind me a transparency of myself. Dim but existent she is there, transferring past knowledge along, giving me a lifeline of familiarity as I inch into alien territory. This awareness of the past would not be so enlightening if not for the transparency also standing in front of me. Dim not as a result of fading, but instead, emerging. Because I have taken one step out of my nested life I can see further in front of me. Little by little that transparency will become more solid. The transitional period will end when I find a new definition of comfort.
But until then, I am living with a three dimensional perspective. Foresight and hindsight are sharpened at once, since I have not yet fully detached or attached to one life. My eyes are open wide. I am learning from a fresh, raw, vulnerable place. When one learns from such a place, one can't help but be molded, rearranged.
Transition is not to be feared, but embraced.
