Shaking More Fairy Out of the Tale

Several years ago I came to terms with the simple reality that I've watched too many fairy tales. Well, really, watching them isn't the problem; the problem is expecting magic to be so uncomplicated. See, there's a little OR for you. I still believe that forms of magic exist in reality, but I know they do not occur so easily. Cinderella would have a little girl believe one dance is a rock solid foundation for a successful marriage. While first encounters can make a person begin the precarious fall into love, but marriage needs more than dancing. Or how about an adult fairy tale, like The Ugly Truth. There's a movie that would have a single woman believe the sexy, testosterone-pumped man will reveal his inner sensitivity when he finds out who she really is, when he sees into her heart and not her cleavage. Men are capable of sensitivity and love, but having a particularly anti-emotional man around you long enough for the two of you to really get to know each other is a difficult maneuver. Those and many like them are the flaws in both types of fairy tales I've been at terms with, but unfortunately recent events have shaken more fairy out of those tales.

Say you find the guy who really falls for you; the one who notices all your little quirks and loves you more for it, just like in the fairy tales; who not only listens to you but remembers what you say, just like in the fairy tales; the one who goes out of the way to tell you just how amazing you are, just like in the fairy tales; the one who truly irrevocably loves you. What happens if you don't love him? If you see him, appreciate him, care about him, but just know you don't love him? Where is that complication Walt Disney? Because, you see, this situation, it has its own kind of hurt, different than just not finding love. It kills that person to see you, love you, and know you don't love them, just as much as it kills you to see that person, know he loves you, and not be able to love him back. For the person who has only been on the loving side of that transaction it may seem insensitive to say the unwilling receiver experiences any pain, but they do. If they are a good person, they do. It is the pain of knowing you are hurting someone you care about, and not being able to make it better in any way, make it stop. You want to love them as much as they love you, return all of that sweetness you are receiving, but you know it is worse to lie. The exchange of half a heart for a whole heart is not an equal exchange.

So where is the OR in this scenario? In a little movie called (500) Days of Summer. Watch it, please watch it, but I'll give you the moral now. Love, it exists, but if someone you love cannot exchange it with theirs, your world does not have to end. Yes, for a while it will feel that way, and that is reasonable, but the truth is, if they don't love you they are not your final destination. They are merely one of the bridges that are helping you get there.