A Reminder - About People

We are meant to love. We are built for it. We need it. A simple enough concept, but not always remembered.

Finding people's faults, making them worse than you - it accomplishes a purpose. It gives you a connection with someone else, something to talk about, agree upon. It can be satisfying to make a connection by ignoring another. But it  is also this ordeal to overcome. When you see them you have to avoid them and be aggravated with them. So much energy and thinking wasted upon separating yourself from the person.

One day though, one day that person will be standing in a different light. Something for some reason will make their vulnerabilities appear.  Then you will see that they are looking for the same things you are. They want to be validated. To know they are decent people. To be seen, truly truly seen. And when you take the time to see them. To meet them in their vulnerable place, THAT  is satisfying. Satiating. Living. Because you've created a similarity with another person. You've understood again that you are not the only person struggling through ambiguity to clarify how you want to come across. You are taking time to understand someone you previously misunderstood and thus someone will do the same. We get more than one chance to be the people we truly are. There are screw ups but there are also recoveries.

We all want compassion. We all must give compassion.

Snapshots Not Yet Seen

Pick me up by the laces of my suede-bottomed floor-scuffed oxfords and fly me to a room full of brassy, nutmeg flavored music.

Please.

Lead me to a meadow where my bare feet dance in the grass that is lush and smells lush and feels lush and is lush. Cotton against my skin and a breeze in the strands of my hair.

Please.

Place me on the Washington mall and let me walk in heels that meet the pavement to create that solid clack that rings of independence and success.

Please.

Show me a wood-planked farm house with chipping paint on acres of land where I can use my hands to plant and collect eggs and learn the earth. Where my feet in yellow rain boots will splash in puddles.

Please.

Find me finally in slippers in a home, remnants left by small handprints on the walls, a room of books and a room of windows. A home where warmth grows exponentially and generations gather continually.

Please.

It's in the Passion

Lesson 2: The secret's in the passion. 

There is so much dedication in a room full of lindy hoppers. Yes you can take lessons from a few different people in the same state where you grew up and become a good dancer. Perhaps even the best in your venue. But to become a name that is frequently compared to the likes of Frankie Manning around the world you must let your dancing shoes take you around the world. Live from a suitcase and with a traveling gypsy troupe in suspenders and oxfords. And then when you've made it to the top, you teach hours of workshops all over the world. With your travelling gypsy troupe. And you smile the whole time and dance with the person who just learned to triple step yesterday.

And your passion for the art is so big that you are also a musician so you can simply be an extension of the music when you dance. And you become a historian; a keeper of knowledge about the time period when your art form was born and about the people who so lovingly sent out into the world.

Because your passion is so big you have to soak in every aspect of it and then drizzle it upon all those who come close to you.

At least thats what I felt every time I was around Sky and Frida or Sharon and Juan or any other person who had built their life around swing outs and Charleston and Susy Qs. They had obviously worked hard to get where they were and were so willing to share that dedication and passion with so many others.

And it just started me thinking, "Ah, that's it! It's the passion!" To live life fully and dynamically and joyously there must be passion. Whether it be a single passion or several, a simple passion or complex.

So that's it. The secret is in the passion.

Some Lindy Lessons

I expected to better my technique and learn new moves from the 3 day workshop so quainlty referred to as Camp Jitterbug that takes place annually on Memorial Day weekend. Brush up on the technical aspects of the dance. What I learned most about, though, was its history and its wonderful atmosphere.

So, my next few posts will be dedicated to a few lessons from lindy as displayed by the fashions and talents I witnessed. They will come in installments, because, well, it's just more fun that way.

Lesson 1: Marilyn Monroe is still alive. 

Well, not literally, but her essence is living in Sharon, a famous lindy lady from Australia. And really the point from this is we carry history in actions, in our passions. Lindy hop took its first triple steps in the late 30s, and yet here we are in 2011, dancing our hearts out. We are keeping the lives of people such as Norma Miller, who was in the original landmark lindy video below, valid and purpose-filled by both modernizing the dance and recreating the classics.

These two videos really illustrate that. This scene from the movie Hellzapoppin' helped kickstart the lindy buzz around the world. And in the 2000s its importance and display of talent have not been forgotten. 

Original Hellzapoppin

Jitterbug Hellzapoppin: Start at 2:56

Land of Lindy

It was more than just the dancing. 

And the dancing would have been enough.

But it was also the shoes and the hair and the clothes.

The smiles, laughs, passions.

Because of all those things, it was historical.

A weekend to be stored in the archives of my life and returned to often and fondly.

My weekend in the Land of Lindy. 

More to come on the people who were almost too good to be true,
and the clothes combined with movement combined with passion
that made them that way. 

Cornelia Quest Part 2

So the quest has been moving slowly, but it is moving! I found these wonderful shoes in a small boutique in Long Beach, California. A little Italian woman owned the store, and when I told her I was looking for shoes to dance in, she said, "Oh, come over here. This is good floor to practice on. Practice your dancing in the shoes." And she gave me a bit of a discount, so naturally I could not resist. Cornelia would have loved her. 

The suspenders have less of a story. They were at Good Will and I figured it never hurts to have suspenders. While the outfit is far from complete, the shoes and suspenders will likely be appearing Memorial Day weekend at the wonderful Camp Jitterbug. Cornelia will be dancing the weekend away with us. 

A Few Steps Back

Take a few steps back.

Take a few steps back and you will see the whole person.

You meet a person and find her qualities enjoyable. Or you are told he is related to you. Or she is a co-worker. So you are pulled together with a special form of magnetism. Day to day you are face to face. Working or playing or loving. And for a time it is wonderful. All pleasantries and the excitement of discovering new things.

But then the closeness rubs. The proximity makes annoyances vivid. Highlights the differences. The ways in which you are not the same, can never be the same. And judgment is planted and grows and grows until all that is visible is the difference. The ways in which the other person does not live properly because she does not live like you.

So you have to take a few steps back.

Take a few steps back and see the story behind that person.

Each life is developed by different characters, punctuated with different scenes, hiccuped by different plot twists. When you first meet each other you give the exposition, the background information that makes you intriguing to each other to begin with. But with closeness comes an ability to forget the background. And to forget all of the qualities you held in such esteem in that other person because they were qualities that you did not have. That you want to develop for yourself.

Sentiment is perhaps one of the largest taboos of humanity. How often do you take an hour to sit down with your closest friends and tell them why they are your closest friends? Such a sharing of a sentiment is acceptable between young couples, but elicits uncomfortable chuckles when suggested amid other types of relationships.

But the spilling of sentiment is important. And not just so your friends know why you value them, but so you can hear why each person values each other. There may be things you love about a friend that the friction of proximity has rubbed away. With the simple reminding from someone else's sentiment you are able to take a step back. To see the whole person.

We form relationships. We are workers and friends and lovers and sons and daughters and mothers and fathers. But we are also individuals. And perhaps one of the truest ironies of life is that it takes stepping back, taking in the whole picture, to see the individual.